Negative Nancy (Sorry, Aunt Nancy, that your name has to always be linked to negativity)

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“Negativity is an addiction to the bleak shadow that lingers around every human form. You can transfigure negativity by turning toward the light of your soul.”

I’ve been kind of negative internally lately, because I am holding onto a lot of small hurt, I think. (Those small hurts that actually start tearing you apart a little, you know the ones) It’s been the kind of stuff that I’ve been “brushing off”, but boy, people are getting UNDER MY SKIN. I am getting shook. Seriously.  The bad of this world is testing me. Patience is a virtue, they say, but I am losing it. Thus is the preface to this post.

I prayed a lot the other day, when it came to a yoga flow that I was putting together for the ladies that have been attending my classes. Bless, you all for being my willing guinea pigs.  My ‘new years resolutions’, so to say, happen practically every week rather than once a year. Honestly. Becoming complacent or stagnant in who I am or how I am serving others is a literal fear of mine. So, I goal set probably a little too often. This time around, I have been really focusing on how my yoga classes can be as purposeful as possible. How they can be truly beneficial to the women that I am serving.

A few days ago, I visited an incredible chiropractor/sports medicine practitioner/holistic health and wellness coach/beautiful person, who reminded me of the fact that, well, it’s not about me and it never was about me. Nothing I do is really a product of me or how truly bad a** I am ;P. You would think that, by now, I would remember this fact all of the time, but alas, I tend to take situations into my own hands and try to fix them. ( I CAN FIX THIS, she says as the stove is on fire, and the kitchen is on fire, EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE. )  I am nearly a vessel by which something bigger and much more powerful uses in a positive way. In my life, if you don’t already know by following this blog, I believe in God, prayer, and the power of prayer. I believe that there is validity in listening to that still, small voice. I’ve really been trying to hear it, lately. Listening is hard sometimes, isn’t it? If anyone is wondering why I enjoy meditating so much, here is an example of one reason! It is a moment where I can be still. Quiet. Calm. Attributes that allow me to truly listen, and be present.

What did I hear? I heard: release. Ok. So, yoga for release. Word.  The whole thing was really one of those moments where, it all just flowed (no pun intended) out of me. I wasn’t surprised by this answer, though, because I feel as if the past two weeks or so have been totally engulfed by messages of forgiveness, and freedom from what weighs me down. I am very much aware of some of those prominent spaces in my life, right now. The places and spaces that I have not allowed to release. The hurts that I, even unintentionally, hold onto. Hm….all of a sudden it seems like this was a flow that I needed to do, myself… funny how life works out that way…

First of all, I was drawn about a week ago to the initial quote in this post:

“”Negativity is an addiction to the bleak shadow that lingers around every human form. You can transfigure negativity by turning toward the light of your soul.”

It is ridiculous to think that we are not creatures of darkness. Look at all of the really terrible events happening around us daily! Shootings, hate crimes, arguments, pain, gossip, betrayal, backstabbing, disappointment…its all around us, literally oozing out of the pores of human beings. The beautiful part about this? We also have a light. In my world, this light is the Holy Spirit. What a release to know that I have this light to turn to! There is always a choice in life. Dwell in the negative, or allow yourself to turn to the positive. Spiritual or not, this is something that we can agree upon.

So much tension that we harbor, I think, comes from a lack of forgiveness. So, I am going to share a really awesome resource that I walked through, step-by-step with a friend:

Steps of forgiving (trust me, just give this a chance. It can’t hurt to read, and if it helps you like it helped me, its worth posting on here, that’s for sure):

Sometimes we take shortcuts when we hastily speak out of forgiveness, but later realize that there are still remnants of the pain in our hearts. So, how can we fully forgive others? The following steps help us by leading us through the process of forgiving. 

What happened?

Describe what happened (BE SPECIFIC)

  • Common mistake: We stay general and vague.
  1. What hurt me? How did I feel?
    • Feelings are important and a vital part of who we are.
    • Common mistake: We skip this step and just stick to the facts
  2. Name the sin
    • Don’t soften wrongs and don’t justify. Identify how the other person sinned against me through the things he/she did or did not do.
    • Common mistake: We justify the other person (but if we don’t call it a sin there can’t be forgiveness).
  3. Bring charges of injustices to God
    • We go to God the judge and bring charges against the person who hurt us. We pour out our heart to God and tell Him all the main points prom the first three steps.
    • Common mistake: We skip this step, or we hide our emotions from God.
  4. Speak out forgiveness.
    • Seriously…say it! (“I forgive____for_____”) and make the decision to hand the case over. It is no longer in your hands or heart. You have released.
    • Common mistake: We tell God what to do with that person (or curse the other person). Or we say we want to forgive (“Lord, help me forgive”) but don’t actually make the decision.

I am also attaching the flow that came from all of this, for all you yogis out there interested in a little release. In the poses of holding, we practiced a sense of “moving through jello”, allowing our muscles to shake and finding a true sense of release when we finally let go of the postures.

In Savasana, place the hands on the low belly, feeling the expansion and relaxation of the belly. This is a space that we forget how much tension we hold in it. How unkind we are to it. How judgmental. Give yourself permission to let the belly go. Release the tension and just breathe. This moment is for you. No guilt for taking time and space. No need to force anything. No room for thoughts of what will come or has passed.

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And also a picture of my face after trying to gather all of my thoughts for this post:

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Remember this: negative emotions keep us from fully experiencing the present moment. Don’t let your life just go by. Release.

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